Stupidity Is Just Our Thing
by Dean's Dirty Little Secert
Summary: Three teenager girls end up in the Lord of the Rings world and make a joke out of everything, yet they somehow still manage to find love ther. WARNING: Really Stupid Aragorn/oc Legolas/oc Merry/oc
1. Intro

"Uh-oh you said Aragorn Rachel, now we have to take another shot!!!!" Grace cried pouring another shot of apple juice for the three of them.

Rachel grinned, picking up the glass. This was such a goofy idea drinking shots whenever someone said one of the fellowships' names, but it was her goofball idea. "To Aragorn, the hottest character there is!" Rachel purposed before downing her drink.

Her two friends Grace and Tina muttered something about their Lord of The Ring infatuation being the hottest but drunk to the toast anyway. After all today was a day of merriment not vicious combat battle over which character was hotter. Today was Tina's one hundred and eleventh birthday-just kidding today she was turning the proud number of fifteen- you know that number right before sixteen but after fourteen? Yeah that one!!! "It's five A.M" Tina muttered staring at her phone.

The young fifteen year old Asian didn't bother to mask her tiredness. In fact she kept suggesting that they should stop for the night. "Fine alright we'll stop after we finish watching 'The Two Towers'" Rachel said finally giving in; she too had begun to tire.

Tina's party had completely drained her with nonsensical drinking, cosplaying, and the constant screams of 'Bam!!!' when ever Tina saw an orc. "BAM!!!!" Tina yelled seeing another orc.

Rachel rolled her eyes before picking up her own plastic sword. She smiled and waved it high in the air, "For Rohan!!!!"

Next she was swinging it like a baseball bat. Grace on the other hand felt no real desire to participate in this joyful event. She, unlike her friends was actually watching the movie which was hard thanks to all the screaming of 'BAM!' and the occasional cry of 'Shut Up Tina! You're Being Annoying!' She cocked her head up at the sudden comment of 'Legolas has girl hair!!!!' "Shut up!!! Shut up!!!!" Gracie cried trying to look mad.

The two laughed at their young Canadian friend. They knew that she could truly never be angered, but it was hilarious when she tried. "Shut up!!!! Shut up!!!" they mocked throwing their hands in the air.

Grace frowned and turned to pout. The girls did the same mocking her every word, "No! I'm mad at you! Don't talk to me!!!"

It went silent suddenly as the sound of a door closing. "Mama?! Baba!?" Tina asked looking up at the stairs.

There was no answer, so Tina asked again even louder. Still there was no answer. They could hear someone walking around in the basement. "Either that's one of your parents or someone's broken in." Rachel said.

The mood was so serious and suspenseful Tina didn't feel like commenting on how obvious that was. "We should call the cops." Grace said run towards the phone.

She dialed the number and waited for it to ring however all she got was the dial tone. "Someone's cut the wire!!!" Grace cried running to them.

"What is this?!?! A freakin' horror movie!!!" Rachel swore.

"Well, there is only one thing to do." Tina concluded, Grace and Rachel look at her waiting for her to share her ingenious plan, "Run!!!!!!!"

Tina suddenly bolted out the door along with Grace and Rachel. It wasn't until they got to the end of the blocked that they stopped. And it wasn't until they stopped that everything went black for them.


	2. Meeting the Fellowship

Nyahhhhhh!!!!!" Tina moaned in her sleep. She opened her eyes to find herself in a forest. What the hell was she doing in a forest? Where was her house? And where were Grace and Rachel? Had they too been caught? "I see you are up." an elderly yet wise voice replied.

Her eyes flew in the direction of the voice. "Holy Shit!!!!!!" Tina screamed scrambling to her feet.

There before her very eyes stood Gandalf cloaked in grey! Geez this had to be a dream. Maybe she fell asleep during the movie. Yeah that's got to be it. "It's alright ma'am, you're safe now. We killed your capturer. Now if I may ask …..What is a hobbit doing so far from the shire?" he asked his hands up in a peace offering.

"Hobbit?" Tina looked down to see that her feet had grown twice in size and were rather hairy compared to what they were before. But more importantly she realized that she now shrunk two feet. This was some dream. Shocked Tina sat down thinking, 'What the hell?' along with the vague thought of 'I wonder if Merry is here?'

"Gandalf!!! The human girl has awakened!!" a strong gruff voice called, "And she's quite a fighter!! She hit Aragorn!!!"

Gandalf chuckled upon hearing this. He turned towards Tina-who now decided that since this was a dream she had nothing to worry about, "Looks like one of your friends is up."

"Friend?" Tina asked before figuring that Rachel and Grace were also in her dream.

"Back!!!! Get away from us you rapists!!!!" Rachel's voice shouted.

"Shit who gave her a sword!!!" a voice yelled.

Tina and Gandalf hurried towards the scene to find a conscious and enraged Rachel holding a sword prepared to kill anyone of the fellowship. Tina laughed upon seeing the sight. "I won't let you rapist touch me or Gracie!! So go die in a hole or I'll make you wish you committed suicide!!" Rachel threatened,

"Woooowww…."Tina said sarcastically catching Rachel's attention.

"TINA! What the hell are you doing over there?!" Rachel cried debating whether or not to move towards Tina.

"Wow you're just as smart as you are in real life." Tina insulted.

"Shut up!!!! You're the one who is hanging around a rapist dressed as Gandalf!!!" Rachel yelled back stopping for a second to throw a rock at her.

The rock landed about a centimeter from Rachel who blushed as Tina laughed. "Gees you're just as smart and have just as bad of aim as you do in real life. My mind's brilliant!" Tina exclaimed.

Suddenly a light bulb clicked in Rachel's brain, "You think this is a dream!"

"Yeah because it is."

"Cut yourself."

"What?!! I'm not emo!!!!"

"Yeah but it's a dream so if you get hurt you won't feel it!"

"Fine woman if it'll make you shut up I will." Tina replied taking the knife that Rachel threw a centimeter away again. She stared at it then sliced her finger. There were a row of words said which are too coarse to write.

"Ha! You see this is no dream! Beside if anyone's dreaming it is me!" Rachel replied eyeing Legolas who was approaching behind her with caution, "Tina, I don't want to scare you but either one of three things have occurred A. Our attackers gave us a lot of dope B. Our attackers are crazy Lord of the Rinsg cultists or C. We're in Middle Earth."

With that Legolas jumped on her receiving a vicious blow in the jaw and one below. He actually struggled in pinning Rachel down. She was not as easy as he had thought she would be, in fact she was doing everything she could to get free; biting, scratching, kicking you name it. "Calm down Rachel, if they were crazy rapists I would've been attacked first thing when I woke up." Tina mentioned.

"We aren't trying to harm you or your friend." Aragorn replied in a calm manner, motioning for Legolas to release her, "We saved you from your capturers."

Rachel sighed rubbing her temples. This was too weird to be real. "I guess I have no choice but to believe you, however if you touch any one of us I'll slit your throat but not after I castrate you." Rachel warned to the slightly scared fellowship.

Gandalf laughed. Boromir snorted something about her being a feisty one which earned him a cold hard glare from Rachel. "Geez is Grace still asleep-she's an elf!!!" Tina exclaimed pointing at the pointy ears.

Rachel gaped; her once fifteen year old friend was now a stunning twenty-five year old looking elf. She turned to say something to Tina when she realized there was something amiss. Instead of looking up at Tina as she always did, she was looking down…about two feet down. And Rachel never remembered Tina having large hairy feet. "You're a hobbit!!!" Rachel cried falling on her butt.

"Yeah and you've skipped ten years of your life." She said calmly.

"What-wait don't answer that I don't want to know what you're talking about you crazy sadist." Rachel threw her hands up in frustration.

Tina sighed looking down at Grace, she nudged Grace with her now gigantic foot, "Hey awake up Grace; you'll never believed what happened."

Grace moaned sitting up rubbing her eyes, "What is it?"

Her eyes widened as she looked at her surroundings. Was she asleep? "Shit." she muttered causing an outburst of laughter from Tina and Rachel.

"Gracie just swore!" they chortled. The fellowship looked at them in awe as the once serious girls turned into laughing idiots. Grace frowned turning away from them.

"Aww is Gracie mad?" Tina asked in a mocking tone.

"Up shut! I'm not talking to you! I'm mad!" she said causing a roar of laughter and up shuts to be heard. Even the fellowship cracked a smile. The hobbits being childish enough joined in on the teasing. While the rest of the fellowship smiled at the similarities of the two groups.

It finally ended with Grace saying shut up instead of up shut and the girls hugging her until she forgave them. "Ahem." Boromir interrupted his mood slightly sour, "I'm sorry to interrupt your little get together but I would like to know why orcs had captured you."

The girls looked at him clueless. "Orcs?" Rachel said slowly.

This infuriated Boromir, "Yes orcs, tall man-like ugly violent vile orcs!!!"

"An orc broke into my house?" Tina asked.

Boromir rubbed his temples, "I don't know. That's why I'm asking you."

"Calm down Boromir." Aragorn commanded seeing how this was getting nowhere, "My Ladies do you know exactly who or what captured you?"

"No. We were at Tina's house celebrating her birthday. Just as we were about to shut the lights out there was a noise. It sounded like someone was breaking in." Grace answered.

"We called for help but no one was there. So we thought the smart thing to do would be to get out of there. We made it to the end of the block before being knocked out and captured…by what we don't know obviously since I thought you guys were our capturers." Rachel continued being real cautious of what she said.

Aragorn nodded. However even though what they had said had been enough for Aragorn, it still wasn't good enough for Boromir. "How do we know they're not spies of Sauron or Saruman!?" he accused.

It was Gandalf who came to their defense, "Neither Sauron or Saruman would use such a cheap tactic at least not using women. "

"Of course not, women are weak and easily taken- not like men." Gimili agreed. Both Tina and Rachel rolled their eyes at the comment. It was true the people of Middle Earth were really sexist.

Legolas rolled his eyes, "It must be Dwarf women you are talking about, because women of any other race can be stronger than man."

They girls smiled up at Legolas giving him a bunch of brownie points. "Either way we're a missing some major points." Aragorn interrupted, "If the orcs didn't straight out kill these women then Sauron must have some need of them."

"Yes, that does seem the case…and if that is so then we have no other choice than to take them with us." Gandalf decided.


	3. Comment and Sword Fighting Don't Mix

It had been two days since the girls landed in Middle Earth and already they were tired. Nothing but walking on foot all day had surprisingly took a lot out of them. "And I thought I walked a lot back home." Rachel muttered to Tina before Aragorn called for them to hurry up once again.

"I am never going to walk again once we get back home." Grace muttered to her friends. They all nodded starting to daydream of cars and any other type of transportation that didn't make them walk. After a while Gandalf assigned them personal trainers to make sure that they kept up with everyone. Grace was paired with Boromir since both Rachel and Tina would either strangle him or piss him off. Tina even more surprisingly was paired up with Aragorn who seemed to take the liberty of keeping an eye on all hobbits-just like in the book. Rachel somehow landed with Legolas. It was a strange pairing to her, especially when Grace was an elf and with Tina still being the fastest walker between the three of them.

"Where did you learn how to fight like that?" Legolas asked Rachel suddenly one day.

"Fight? Oh you mean that incident when you piled on top of Rachel and she rolled around to get free." Tina yelled in back.

"Shut up Tina!!" Rachel yelled earning a laugh from both girls.

Legolas smiled, "So?"

"Like Tina said I wouldn't call it fighting. It was more of a sudden burst of energy. Actually I think everything I did was because that energy burst. But who can blame me? The only thought going through my head at the time was to get Grace and I out of there." Rachel explained trying to interrupt her own actions.

"You were worried about the safety of you and your friend." Legolas stated.

"Yes I was." she smiled, "I guess when you're really worried about someone you are able to do the impossible."

Tina smiled patting Rachel on the back. "You still looked funny." Tina said.

"You want to be two feet shorter?" Rachel growled.

"No, not really."

"Then I would shut up if I were you."

Night came quickly. The fellowship sat down to rest. The hobbits had kidnapped Tina-much to her delight. They asked her millions of questions like where from the shire was she from and how long has it been since she saw the shire. Never having set foot in the shire Tina answered the questions truthfully in one sentence 'I don't know I've never been to the shire.' This caused an outburst of more questions leaving Tina to spend most of her night talking to the hobbits. Grace too had someone who had taken an interest in her…Legolas of course was interested in his elf companion. He too asked many question-most of them the same as the hobbits questions. Rachel on the meanwhile contented herself with trying to help out the best as she could. However there was not much for her to do so she spent the rest of her time staring up at the stars. That all ended though thanks to Aragorn. "You're holding the sword wrong." Aragorn repeated for the sixth time.

Gently he placed her hands in the proper position on the sword, "You want your strokes to be quick and short."

Rachel nodded following his example. Her strokes however were nothing like his. They were messy. Aragorn was a patient man that was for sure Rachel on the other hand was getting rather frustrated. She had half a mind to throw the sword on the ground and throw a tantrum. It was especially hard with Tina making a comment on everything she did, but that all stopped after Aragorn asked her to go help Sam with cooking. And since it was way more of a command than a request she had no other choice, but to do it. "Here" Aragorn said coming up behind her, he placed his hands on hers and swung the sword.

While Aragorn had no problem doing all this Rachel's face had turned red. Luckily it was too dark for anyone to notice. "Okay, now you try." Aragorn backed away.

"Got it." In her mind Rachel pictured Aragorn swinging the sword, and with that in thought she swung with all her might trying to get it just right. I'd loved to tell she got it perfect but that wasn't the case.

"What the hell are you trying to do woman?!?!?!? KILL SOMEONE!?!?!" Tina yelled the sword just inches away from her and Sam. Rachel had used a little too much mighty in that swing.

"Sorry!!!!" she cried.

"Sorry??? I nearly got killed and all you can mange is a sorry!!! Besides I think you are forgetting that a sword is not a baseball bat.!!" Tina snapped.

Rachel sighed sitting down feeling like an idiot. Aragorn chuckled softly as he patted her back, "Don't worry you'll get it right with practice."

"Yeah, but next why don't you guys go practice elsewhere. I'd like to live!" Tina commented.

"I'm going to murder her." Rachel growled.

"Murder isn't nice." Tina replied getting up immediately as Rachel excused herself from practice to kill Tina.


	4. She's A Feisty One

Legolas and Grace came back from practice of their own-Legolas was teaching Grace how to use a bow and arrow. They were quickly caught up to speed with what was happening as Rachel made her fifth lap chasing Tina. They sat down with Aragorn smiling. "Do they always do this?" Legolas asked.

"Yeah, that's Tina and Rachel for you." Grace said smiling.

The fight end eventually with Rachel giving up and plopped on the ground Tina joined shortly after. It wasn't until Sam yelled 'Food's up' that they moved from place. "So Gracie, how did you do with a bow and arrow?" Rachel asked biting into a piece of bread.

"Good, what about you and your sword fighting?" Gracie asked out of sheer politeness.

It went silent. Everyone looked at Rachel as if she would cry at any second. Rachel smiled happily, "Oh it went great, I nearly got my first kill!"

"You wouldn't be talking about me, would you?" Tina muttered.

"Now why would you think that?"

Then the bickering was back. Aragorn chuckled, "She did well for a beginner. I think I'll be able to turn it up a notch in a few days."

"In a few days?" Boromir snorted, "The hobbits do better than her."

"Boromir…" Aragorn warned, hoping Rachel didn't hear him. She had been working hard and didn't need to be insulted.

"Silly Boromir, that's because hobbit are amazing. In fact it is that type of undermining that makes hobbits the most deadly thing there is." A voice said from behind. They all turned shocked to find Rachel there.

"Yup that's right." Tina nodded along with Grace.

"Most deadly?" Pippin asked curious.

"Yup. You see…it is your size that causes you to seem powerless-much like dwarves but since hobbit kind aren't really into anything but peace they are often revered to be weaklings. It is this undermining that makes one deadly, because when you undermine someone, you don't expect much from them. In other words you are most likely to let your guard down around them, figuring that the harm they cause you will either be none or minimal." Rachel explained smiling the whole time.

Gandalf smiled, "It seems you have a lot of hope and faith in people."

"Of course there is always hope. Right Gracie?"

"Yep."

"It's late we should get some sleep." Gandalf announced, his way of saying enough for tonight.

"You're up early?" Aragorn said staring at the early risen Grace. She smiled at him. He must be on watch right now. Her eyes diverted for second to the bright pink sunrise. It was unlike anything she ever saw before. In bluntness it was simply gorgeous. She loved how the pink swirled with the orange and how clouds of white and blue began to fill the sky. For a second she pondered about awakening up Rachel and Tina to see it. Tina would probably say it was too early and go back to sleep while Rachel would enjoy it then go back to sleep. Slowly she got up and walked over to Rachel. She leaned down to wake but was suddenly stopped by Aragorn. Grace looked at him in curiosity. "Let her sleep, she's been working hard to get the sword fighting right. Don't worry she's seen the sunrise before."

Grace lifted an eyebrow, if she were Tina she would've said 'And you this how?', but she wasn't so she just said okay and hoped to leave it at that. Aragorn however felt her curiosity and weirdness, and figured he should explain, "It seems she doesn't trust Boromir fully-not that I can truly blame her. I too wouldn't trust someone if they kept insulting me and claiming that I was a spy of the enemy. Anyway she makes sure that she is awake when he is on watch."

"I see. Well hopefully they'll learn to trust each other; I don't know how much sleep she can lose before passing out from a dizzy spell." Grace replied staring at her drooling friend.

Aragorn smiled, "Don't worry Legolas and I have been making sure she gets enough sleep."

"That's good." Grace said not sure on what else to say.

"You're up early." an angelic voice said. Grace didn't even have to turn around to see who it was. It was Legolas her hot sexy elf boy, which of course he didn't know about that yet but he would soon.

"Shh!" Aragorn said pointing at Rachel who was just waking.

Legolas smiled, "She's finally out."

Aragorn nodded, "I've never seen a woman with such willpower."

"Willpower? You have a funny choice of words; I would say she's stubborn-staying up all night just to make sure Boromir wouldn't do anything." Legolas smiled, "Especially when Boromir was being just as stubborn. Do you think she knew he was spiting her when he had offered to take everyone else's sift?"

"She's not dumb Legolas, a little strange maybe but not dumb." Aragorn said taking out his pipe.

"That's what everyone says about her." Grace pointed out both Legolas and Aragorn gave her a look, "What?"

"You're strange too." Legolas put bluntly, Aragorn shook his head in agreement.

"Thanks you guys." Grace laughed sarcastically, she dragged her 'a' out as she said thanks.


	5. Mornings

**Author's note:** Sorry for taking so long I actually have this all typed out already but I have to edit it for it to somewhat make sense. Please review if you like it, if you don't then whatever I don't care. Bye for now. P.S it continues off for chapter four so it's still morning.

Suddenly Tina landed on Rachel along with Merry and Pippin. Instantly Rachel was up and chasing them around like wild animals. She pounced on Pippin causing them to crash to them ground. Everyone laughed as they watched the scene to unravel, everyone but Boromir that is. "Such childish antics, Gandalf you don't really think that they won't be able to be anything but useless weight." Boromir sneered.

Gandalf began to answer but was cut off by Rachel-"Do you ever say anything nice? Or are you always such an-"she stopped herself before she swore.

"An ass?" Tina suggested.

Merry tapped on her shoulder, "I don't think you're helping."

Tina simply shrugged, "Well he is."

Boromir turned towards Tina angrily, "Shut up!! A woman should be silent."

"You leave her alone!!! I don't know why you are acting like this, but I'm positive that the son of a steward would not act this way. So whatever your problem is don't force it on us, because no matter what you say about us it will not solve your problem." Rachel said calming herself slightly.

She was about to leave when she heard, "Problem? Of course I have a problem we are taking Sauron's most powerful weapon to Mt. Doom to be destroyed and all of sudden you show up what else am I suppose to think!?"

Slowly-painful Rachel rose her head up. There was a look in her eyes a look never seen by anyone before. "I understand. There is no way I will ever be able to change your mind about us, however keep this in mind if I were a spy of Sauron my first move would be to break up the fellowship."

It had been quite silent amongst all member of the fellowship since Rachel's blow up. There was no doubt in any of their minds that these girls were not working for Sauron-even Boromir had begun to rethink his opinion on them. The girls too confined to themselves. None of them knew what was going to happen now. There had always been distrust between the fellowship members but not by this much. They began to worry that because of them the whole book would be in ruins. "I'm going for a walk."Rachel said breaking the silence that remained even as they stopped.

She wandered a bit until she found a creek where she could dip her hot feet in. "Are you alright Rachel?" the voice of Frodo Baggins was heard.

Rachel smiled and nodded, "Yeah I just hope I didn't cause too much problems for the fellowship."

"Don't worry I think everyone in the fellowship is thinking the same thing-'Boromir had it coming'. Besides I was quite amazed by how calmly you handled it." Frodo complimented.

A grin worked its way across her face, "Don't give me too much credit i I was this close from smacking him."

________Later______________________________

"Spread your feet a little-there you got it. Now don't let him get any closer to you, you want a good couple of inches away from your opponent. Good! You're doing it." Aragorn coached as Rachel fought Boromir. It was a surprise to all when Boromir sought forgiveness from Rachel, Tina and Grace. It surprised them even more when he swore the safe oath he did to Frodo.

"Okay that enough for today." Aragorn decided, "Boromir can you help Merry and Pippin out for a second, they seemed to be falling behind."

Boromir nodded. Rachel felt bad for him; Aragorn had chosen the worst time to get the hobbits to practice…breakfast!!! Man…what a pain that was going to be for him. She started to head toward food when she was stopped by Aragorn himself. "Yes?"

"I need to talk to you alone." Aragorn said in a low tone so no one could hear. She nodded following him. In truth she was freaking out right now. Yes the brave Rachel's greatest weakness was angering someone she cared and respected; and with Aragorn's tone being so low she was nearly over the edge.

They stopped at a small clearing in the woods. There Rachel awaited her sentencing. "I know what you are doing and you can stop now." Aragorn said curtly.

"What?" she asked not knowing what the hell he was talking about.

"If you want to borrow my sword to practice just ask. You don't have to steal it while I'm sleeping."

She laughed and grin, "Ah-I've been found out. How long have you known about it?"

"Since the beginning of day one, you forget my lady I am a ranger I keep a close eye on my weapons at all times; even in sleep I'm aware of my surrounding." he explained.

"Oh I see. However I did not forget you were a ranger for you never told me and my lord….please call me by my name. I am of no royalty to be called such a thing."

Aragorn smiled, "Only if you swear never to call me 'my lord' again."

"Can I do, now let's head back shall we? I'm starved."

"Sure, but first we have some rules to set if you're going to use my sword." Aragorn announced crossing his arms.

"Like what?"

"Like you getting at least eight hours of sleep" he paused letting it sink in for her, "Breaks. And you need to stop your worrying. Your friends are safe and you are safe, so you don't need to worry as much. They don't."

Rachel laughed, "That's because this is like a dream come true for them. They've all found someone who has their back. I mean Tina who is a total sadist in every way possible has attracted Merry and Pippin-who somehow enjoy her devilish plans to torture me continuously. While Grace has Legolas watching her back every day, and in truth I won't be surprised if there is a white wedding coming up. So of course they aren't worried. They're being distracted twenty-four to seven."

"And you're not?"

"I am, but by other means. It makes me feel a lot safer when I have a sword in my hand."

"As do I, but you're still far too young to worry about such not. The fellowship swore to protect you so you should not fear."

"They swore no oath to us. Beside I-_I_ consider us to be friends."

A smile made its way across Aragorn's face, "Then worry not, I do not let my friends die."

"Wow." a voice said sarcastically. Neither one of them had to turn to see who it was. It was so obvious that it was Tina.


	6. Interuptions And Tina

Do you mind?" Rachel snorted.

"No no don't mind me. I'm just sitting here. But seriously carry on."

Aragorn closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. Rachel remained flabbergasted by Tina's usual behavior. "So are you done here with your little cheese festival or what?" Tina continued to pester.

From a far the fellowship could hear Rachel's angry yells at Tina along with Tina's retorts. Most of them were funny…some of them were just plain weird. But for Grace it was just a normal day. "You keep strange company my lady." Legolas interrupted her thoughts.

"So? Maybe I like strange people. Besides weren't you the one who said I was strange too?" Grace starred up at him.

He smiled, "I may have, but I will admit you are not as strange as those two."

"Yes I guess that's a good thing. Someone has to be normal after all." Grace replied.

If Rachel or Tina were here they would've laughed at her then proceed to make some type of twilight joke. This meant that she would have to get angry at them, which never seemed to work for her advantage. When she got mad she would receives numerous amounts of up shuts and be mocked to her wits' end. When Tina got pissed off people began to back away. When Rachel got angry, people ran to the nearest safe haven. Luckily for her though they weren't there meaning she could be alone with Legolas. Yes alone with her sexy elf boy. ALONE. "You know what Rachel suggested to me two days back?" Legolas asked.

"No what?"

"She asked me if I liked you."

Grace turned red like an apple, a cherry, a baboon and a permanent marker. Stupid Rachel! Why would she even do such a thing?!! "And you know what I said?" Legolas asked smirking.

"N-no." Grace stuttered losing her cool. At this moment of time all her attraction to any other man ceased into oblivion-sorry Edward, fat chance you had with her anyway. Right now there she wanted nothing more than to kiss Legolas.

"I said-"

"Legolas." Aragorn called, "Can I speak to you real quick?"

Legolas excused himself and went to speak with Aragorn. Grace swore silently in her head (hhahaha Gracie swore!). She was beyond furious nothing could make this moment "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!" Tina sang on the top of her lungs.

"SHUT UP TINA!! YOU'RE BEING ANNOYING!!!" Rachel snapped.

"You're just mad because I accidental ruined Aragorn's love confession to you." Tina snorted.

Rachel blushed, "How does the word friend translate into love for you?"

"How does it not?"

"I hate you."

"Yeah? Well I hate People!" Tina pouted crossing her arms in a childish manner.

"Even us?" Pippin asked slightly worried.

"Yes, Pippin because you know I hate you." Tina said sarcastically.

Pippin didn't get it until Merry leaned in and whispered, "She's being sarcastic."

"Oh I see." Pippin said smiling.

"You two!" Aragorn yelled, "Practice."

Merry and Pippin raced down there trying to beat one another. Boromir stood there waiting with a sword while Aragorn already had his spot and pipe. "You know you should be down there too Tina." Grace suggested.

Tina made a face, "I don't want to."

"Lazy" Rachel muttered before walking off to talk to Aragorn.

"You know it!" Tina shouted out to her.

Grace laughed, "I don't think she heard you."

'Nnn' was all Tina said before shouting 'Food!' and running off towards Sam. Grace in the meanwhile followed Legolas as he scouted around. In the back of her mind she could hear Tina's horrid singing. She made a mental not to kill her Great Great grandfather again but this time with a cherry pie.

"Move your feet." Aragorn instructed as Pippin took on Boromir.

Rachel smiled watching happily before a crazy idea popped into her head. "Aragorn may I borrow your sword?"

"No. We agreed that you'd take a few days off from sword work and today is one." Aragorn answered calmly.

"You said break, not day off. Besides I like sword fighting, it makes me feel like-like I don't but it feels good!" she pouted-which was normally Tina's or Grace's job.

Aragorn smiled once again, "Well I'm glad to hear that my-Rachel, but if you practice too much your hand will not only blister, but bleed. When we'll buy you some gloves next time we are near town or something."

"But if I don't wear gloves I will get calluses and then my hand won't bleed over blister anymore!!" she cheered at the thought, everyone turned to look at for a second.

Aragorn shook his head but said no more, he made a mental note in his to buy gloves as soon as possible. He had no idea what type of place Rachel was from-he didn't even know what it was called let alone where it was. But out here women who had calluses were very much looked down upon, they were seen as laborers-low class and as wonderful as Rachel was, she too would be looked upon in the same manner. It wasn't how Aragorn wanted her to be seen or treated. He wanted more for her-happiness. "I think you should go help him now." Aragorn was snapped awake by Rachel's voice.

She pointed down to Boromir who was now being attacked by a pair of tickling hobbit. Yes that's right folk Merry, Tina (who finally decided to get off her lazy) and Pippin were attacking Boromir in a frenzy of tickles. Aragorn sighed getting up to go help him, "That's enough-"

He was silenced suddenly by Tina and Merry pulling him down. The fun and games were interrupted as a question of a cloud came about. Tina, Grace, and Rachel all prepared for the upcoming yell of Legolas. "Creblain from Duneland!!!" Legolas cried.

The girls were suddenly pulled to safety by their very own infatuations. It was not long before the birds flew overheads making it safe for everyone to come. Gandalf said something about the south no longer being any safe to past, but the only thing Rachel could focus on was Aragorn's tight grip on her wrist. "You squeezed her any tighter ladie, she'll lose that hand." Gimili chuckled.

Instantly Aragorn let go, he muttered a sorry before going to check on Frodo. After a few minutes on intense conversation between the fellowship, it was decided that they should get moving. Gandalf lead the way with Gimili, Boromir and Sam behind him. Merry and Pippin stood in front of Rachel, Frodo, and Aragorn; they began to talk about Tina, who was up ahead with Grace. Rachel listened in. "Hey Merry, are you in love with Tina?" Pippin asked in a low whisper.

Rachel smirked; this is was exactly the type of eavesdropping she loved. "No, why would you think that?" Merry snapped, but Rachel could see the blush on his face.

"Well, when we're back there with though birds attacking us the first you did, was pull Tina to safety." Pippin pointed out.

"That's because she's a woman and as men we are to take care of our weaker gender." Merry tried to cover up.

It was silent for a second. "Oh I get it!" Pippin said suddenly, "So does that mean I can have her?"

Merry looked at him and shook his head before picking up his pace. Pippin ran after him, "What's wrong Merry?!?! You said you didn't like her?!?!"

Frodo, Aragorn and Rachel laughed watching the clueless Pippin try to talk down the frustrated Merry. It was quite the sight. "Looks like Merry has fallen in love with Tina." Frodo said smiling.

Rachel shook her head and smiled, "Lucky girl, she's finally found someone actually finds she sadist humor and wicked ways attractable. Grace is lucky too. She may not know it, but Legolas is absolutely smitten for her. I hope he tells her soon so she doesn't have to keep this act up"

Aragorn grinned, "I know what you mean. They're practically inseparable."

"Yup, even more so, if Grace has a problem she runs straight to Legolas." Rachel added happily.

Frodo looked at her curiously, "Grace has problems?"

Rachel went silent. Did Grace have problems? She had to. Everyone does. After all she's not perfect is she…"Oh my god I forgot she was perfect!!!! No wonder her Legolas get along so well, they're practically brother and sister!!!" Rachel cried.

"That is a disturbing thought." a voice said from behind.

Rachel froze knowing exactly who it was. Geez, this was the Halloween incident all over again. Well at least she didn't call him Gracie's sexy elf boy; Grace would kill her for that. "I don't think I would like to be her brother." Legolas continued, "That would be rather awkward."

"Yeah, but if you were then Gracie could get a better feeling about that brother and sister from Flowers in the Attic." Rachel snorted laughing to herself, "Besides everything we said was absolutely positively true."

Legolas smiled, "I never said it wasn't-however I think you're forgetting someone else who's just like that."


	7. Cold

Author's Note: Sorry it took forever, I won't lie. I got lazy. Anyway this Craziness has been edited so you people can understand. Which means I'm going to get my head chopped off for leaving out the last chapter-hope you like it.

"It's cold. It's fricken cold." Rachel muttered silently to herself.

"Well no duh it's fricken cold we're on a mountain!" Tina snapped before screaming MOUNTAIN as loud as she could. Gandalf immediately told her to shut up, but in a more Gandalfish way of course.

Half through the trip the trip Rachel got sent in back to stand next Boromir, because of an incident with her nearly throwing Tina off a cliff. Not that anyone blamed her for it. "Watch your step my lady." Boromir warned taking her hand in his as he helped her carefully down the mountain (shut up Tina).

Rachel pouted, "Boromir there's no need to be so formal. Just call Grace-panda bear, Tina-sadist woman, and me….call my Rachel the beautiful."

"Yeah right!" Tina yelled from ahead.

"Shut up Tina! Or I'll really throw you of this mountain!!!" Rachel snapped causing everyone to laugh-and Tina to scream mountain….again.

Boromir smiled a little. In the back of Rachel's mind she imagined the helicopter from the bloopers coming up right about now. "Carefully my lady it's really slippery here."

This time instead of taking Boromir's hand, she pouted even more. "Don't call me 'my lady'-ah!" she flew up in the air about to hit the ground when Boromir caught her by the arm.

"You alright my-Rachel." Boromir asked calling her Rachel suddenly due to her glare.

"Yes, thank you. Now let's go down the let's of other things you may call Tina and Grace. Let's see there's Gracie-oh you can call Tina Insane Psycho Lady!" Rachel said making sure poor Boromir was listening.

"You're friend is quite…eccentric my lady." Legolas said suddenly stealing Grace away from Tina.

"She's weird, go ahead and say it. After all that's why people like her, she makes life entering. Oh and by the way Legolas if you call me 'my lady' one more time I'll tell Rachel." Grace threatened-which was quite a funny sight for Tina who was watching this whole thing unfold.

"As you wish, my-Grace I was wondering if you knew whether or not Rachel was interested in anyone-perhaps someone by the name of Aragorn." Legolas pried.

Grace looked up thinking about whether or not she should tell him. It was obvious that there was something going on between Aragorn and Rachel-whether it was known to them or not still remained a mystery. One thing Grace did know was that Rachel liked Aragorn so much so she was surprised Rachel hadn't accidentally called him her S.M.B (sexy man Beast) yet. Just like how Grace called Legolas her sexy elf boy in her mind. Sexy elf boy… "Why do you want to know?" Tina pestered bringing herself into the conversation.

"Well I have reason to suspect that Aragorn has feelings for Rachel my lady-"

"Dude, don't even get me started on what you're suppose to call me."

"Dude?" Legolas gave her a questioning look.

"Yeah, you know dude." Tina said slowly.

"No one says Dude here Tina, remember?" Rachel shouted.

"I hate people." Tina yapped.

"Yeah well people hate you." Grace replied.

"I don't hate you Tina." Pippin said.

"Thanks Pippin." Tina said sarcastically.

"Geez you're such a sadist Tina." Rachel cried.

"So what? Like you ain't?"

"Ain't?" Grace laughed.

"Shut up!!!"

Gandalf turned around angrily, "Shut up all of you, we don't need this mountain to fall upon us."

Then right on cue Legolas shouted, "There's a voice up head."

The mountain rumbled. Bits of snow and rock came following down. "He's trying to bring down the mountain!" Aragorn yelled getting a firm grip on Frodo's arm.

"We must go back!" someone yelled.

The girls stood there bracing for impact. "No!" Gandalf cried and began to chant some magic-uh words.

In the end he lost and there was an avalanche. Boromir who was closest to Rachel grabbed a hold of her. Grace of course was taken care of by Legolas. As for Tina she was surprisingly saved by Gimili. The avalanche soon passed them leaving every with a head full of snow. They remained silent for a while until Tina, "See it wasn't us was it? No it was Saruman…"

"I bet you feel pretty foolish now Gandalf." Pippin encouraged.

Gandalf opened his mom ready to yell but Rachel got to it first, "Shut up both of you. It's annoying."

"I take it you're cold Miss Rachel." Sam said staring at her.

"No whatever gave you that impression?" Rachel drawled.

"Ignore her Sam; she gets bitchy when she's cold. Once she's warmed up she'll be apologizing like a mad dog." Grace comforted.

Boromir wrapped an arm around Rachel trying for the sake of the fellowship to warm her. Aragorn glared a little, but it went unnoticed for most of the part. Once everyone was sure that Rachel was going to push someone off a cliff they began to debate on where they were going. Even Rachel put in her own two cents telling people to shut up and take turns. Finally Gandalf intervened, "Let the ring bearer decide."

Frodo looked at each one of them. He began calculating things in his mind. It went silent. "We will go through the mines of Moria." Frodo finally decided.

"So shall it be."


	8. Oath

Moria was freakier than any of them expected. If the moon had not been out that night they'd be in nothing but black. And though Grace and Tina were completely fine in the dark-Rachel was petrified. She jumped at ever little noise there was. Which provide Tina and Grace with much fun. _Crack!_ Rachel jumped inhaling hard. Tina and Grace began giggling. Aragorn came up to her side, "Are you alright?"

"Yes, just a bit scared in truth. I have never liked the dark." Rachel replied blushing a little.

"No one ever has. There is no telling what lingers in the dark." Aragorn said accidentally freaking her out more.

_Crack!_ Rachel jumped but instead of being scared this time she went over and hit both Tina and Grace upside the head. She walked back over to Aragorn furious. "Don't tell me they didn't deserve it." Rachel muttered with crossed arms.

Aragorn smiled, "Didn't even cross my mind."

Meanwhile Merry finally decided to try and talk to Tina for awhile. "Hey Tina are you alright?" Merry whispered.

"Huh? Who wants to fight?" Tina asked being her deaf self.

"No. Are you alright? You're not scared are you?" Merry asked a little louder.

Tina blinked, "No why?"

"Well with Rachel jumping like a rabbit, I thought you might…you know have the jitters or something." Merry explained walking closer to her.

"Nope I'm not a wimp." Tina said earning a 'Shut up, Tina. You're being annoying.'

"No, I never said you were. In fact I think you're really brave-as brave as Gandalf."

"Are you calling me old?"

"No! I'm just saying you know-anyway if you do get scared just tell me, I'll protect you. I'm quite strong you know."

"Ummm, okay?"

"Tina he's flirting with you, you idiot!" Rachel yelled.

"Yeah Tina you're so dense." Grace cried.

"Shut up!"

The girls just giggled and let it go. Tina remained talking to the blushing Merry was starting to get a little flustered thanks to Pippin scooting his way into the conversation. Grace was up ahead talking to Legolas about anywhere, anyone, and anything (the three A's!) Rachel remained in back with Aragorn, Sam, and Bill the pony. "Aw, isn't that sweet? They each have their own little love crush." Rachel smiled, "That's good. It means I don't have to watch their back every five seconds-at least for Gracie."

"And what about you Miss Rachel? Who is going to be watching your back?" Sam asked curiously.

"Hmm…me!" Rachel replied happily, "You know I would ask you Sam, but you have a more important job."

"What exactly would that be? The only thing I do is cook." Sam replied self-consciously.

"That's what you think; I have a feeling that without you Sam, Frodo won't be able to make it far. You're the Matsuda of the fellowship-no you are more of a young Watari. Pippin is the Matsuda of the fellowship." Rachel agreed more to herself than anyone else.

Sam looked at Aragorn who simply shrugged and made the motion just to go along with it. "You are sure you can handle yourself Miss Rachel?" Sam asked looking up at the spacey Rachel.

Rachel smiled and flexed her muscles, "Yup. I'm quite strong you know; besides Aragorn says I'm good enough to defend myself. Right Aragorn?"

Aragorn smiled, "That's with a sword, however you have forgotten that you don't have one in your possession yet."

Rachel frowned, but then smiled suddenly, "Keywords 'yet', I'm sure whatever we fight will have a sword with them. All I need is for one of you to kill it, so I can have a sword."

"A sword of the enemy will do you no good my lady." Aragorn said his smile widening.

"Are You Saying I'm Defenseless?" Rachel cried getting everyone's attention.

"Don't not worry, my lady I will let no harm come towards you." Aragorn assured his body dangerously close to hers.

"And have you forgotten my pledge to you, my lady. I shall die before harm comes to you, your friends, and anyone else in the fellowship." Boromir said suddenly.

"And have you forgotten that I too am your friend, I shall die before harm comes to you." Legolas pledge.

"I will not be beaten by an Elf. My lady whether it means death or life I will defend you and anyone else." Gimili pledged dramatically.

"You're missing the point." Rachel said before anyone could say anything else, "I do not want anyone to die for me. That's the whole reason I'm mad, as of now without a sword I am dead weight! And Stop Calling Me, 'My Lady'! It's annoying."

"Dead weight? You're not scared of death, but you're scared of being dead weight?" Aragorn asked grinning.

"What's so hard to understand about that?" Rachel asked throwing her hands up in frustration.

"Nothing my-Rachel, I'm sure everyone else feels the same way for I know I do, but you seem to be forgetting that if you do die then you'll really be dead weight to us." Aragorn smiled.

"Hahaha, I never knew you had such a great sense of humor Aragorn." Rachel replied drily, causing everyone to laugh.

"Always an honor to make you laugh, my lady." Aragorn teased, "However I am serious about what I said. You need not to worry. I gave you my oath."

"As did I." everyone else said.

Rachel muttered something only heard by Legolas before hitting her forehead with her palm. Aragorn just smiled more. "Well that's all fine and dandy, but what about us? Isn't anyone going to swear allegiance to us?" Tina interrupted breaking the nice harmony of trust that was going around.

"God help us all if you get killed." Boromir mutters.

Tina just stuck out her tongue and said 'Nnnnn' has she always does. Rachel laughed knowing that in her mind Tina was plotting some way to get back at Boromir. If she was him she'd be afraid…very afraid. "I'd watch your back if I were you." Rachel warned before sliding back down to speak to Aragorn who was enjoying her company. Meanwhile Legolas kept glance at Grace as if he wanted to say something. Finally Grace got 'annoyed' and cried, "What?"

Legolas was slightly taken back by her outburst (yeah that's right she yelled at sexy elf boy) but answered her nonetheless, "I just wanted to say that if you are ever scared to let me know, I too shall do everything to protect you my lady."

Grace remained silent not knowing what to say other than, "Ummm….Thanks?"


	9. Mushrooms

Author's Note: In Celebration of Summer I am Updating all my stories. Yup folks that's right every story is being updated, even those year old ones you thought would never be updated!

Rachel didn't think that the fellowship had to wait this long outside of Moria. In the back of her mind she always knew it had at least an half hours wait with Gandalf and his old mind, but she had never thought it would be this long and boring. Well at least it gave Sam time to cook. "Whatcha ya cooking Sam?" she asked cutely inhaling the yummy aroma of soup.

Sam looked up at the pretty twenty-five year old woman and blushed slightly, "I'm cooking a nice soup filled with carrots, celery, potato, cabbage, and mushrooms."

It went silent. All of the sudden Tina and Grace started laughing. They began to scream mushrooms over and over again. Rachel glared at them, while everyone else looked at the laughing idiots. "What's with them?" Gimili asked.

"You don't want to know." Rachel muttered handing him a bowl of soup. He took it hungrily and slurped it down within seconds. Legolas commented on him saying it was only expected of a dwarf to eat sloppily. Hence Tina muttered the 'oh so' famous line stuck up bitchy elf. In return Grace attempted to hit her.

Aragorn watched Rachel contently, making sure that whatever Tina and Grace had done to affect her once cheerful mood wasn't permanent. He was relieved to find that after eating her soup she was once more cheery. He was also happy to discover that she did not like mushrooms for she left them in her bowl. However he was not the only one who noticed this- "Tut, tut, tut, you're wasting food Rachel." Tina scolded happily.

Rachel glared at her muttering something about throwing her to the octopus if she didn't shut up. "Geez woman there are starving children in Africa who would love to eat your mushrooms." Tina continued not even taking note of Rachel's malicious glares.

"We're in Middle Earth Tina there is no Africa here." Rachel replied.

"Still there's starving children in Africa Rachel." Grace said.

The fellowship watched in confusion, not _exactly_ getting what was going on. "Would you eat them if Aragorn told you to?" Grace asked bringing poor Aragorn into it.

He gave her a look before put his hand up in peace. His way of saying 'leave me out of this'. Rachel sighed closing her eyes, "I would not eat them in the rain, I would not eat them on a train. I would not eat if Aragorn asked, I do not like them Sam-I-am."

"What did I do?" Sam asked slightly afraid.

The girls cracked a grin. "No Sam she's repeating a quote from a book Sam." Grace laughed.

Everyone grinned at this especially Sam and Frodo. "Aragorn's in a book?" Pippin asked curiously, "Can I be in one?"

Merry looked at his beloved cousin incredulity, "Who would want to write a book about you?"

The girls forced back a giggle. "I would!" Grace said proudly.

"Katherina would!" Rachel added cheerfully.

"Who's Katherina?" Merry asked.

"A sarcastic hobbit who is a sadist like Tina except smarter." Rachel informed them.

"Hey!" Tina cried, "Eat your mushrooms woman!"

"Yeah Rachel, there's starving children in Africa!"

The fellowship expecting another repeat of the conversation. However Rachel wasn't going to allow it. "You know if I was a starving child in Africa…I would much rather eat lamb." Rachel stated knowing that lamb was Grace's other nickname for Legolas.

It went silent. Tina began laughing hysterically. Grace's mouth dropped, "NO! NO!"

"Oh yes lamb is very tasty don't you think Sam?"

Sam looked at the other members of the fellowship advice about what to do. They shrugged clueless. "Well…it's really easy to make that's for sure. In fact I guess it is really tasty especially when there are taters in it." Sam replied know relishing the thought of lamb.

"Well if there is one thing I know, it that nothing tastes better than a leg of lamb after a hard day's work." Gimili drooled, getting once again hungry (soup wasn't enough for the dwarf, he wanted meat!)

"What would a dwarf know of the exquisite taste of lamb?" Legolas insulted while smiling at the same time.

Rachel did a fake gasp, "Legolas could it be that you like lamb too?"

Grace's eyes widen, "No! No! Shut up! Shut up!"

Everyone gave her an odd look. Legolas continued on, "There is nothing better than a roasted lamb."

Rachel shot Grace a 'Ha' look. Grace pouted about to get 'angry' instead she decided to get revenge. "Do you like beef huh Rachel ?" Grace asked.

"Yeah why?"

Grace began laughing hysterically, "I bet Aragorn likes beef too."

Rachel caught wind of her joke figuring out the beef was Grace's codename for Aragorn. Well he was a slab of hunky beef so it suite just fine. "Do you like beef Sam?" Grace asked.

But before Sam could answer Tina interrupted him, "You're not making any sense Grace."

"No you're not." Rachel lied.

Grace pouted, "Shut up! I'm angry at you."

Rachel raised an eyebrow taking it as a challenge. "Hey Tina what short skinny and impossible to get angry?" Rachel asked, smirking.

Tina made a face and stuck a finger on her chin, "I don't know is it Gracie?"

"Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!" Rachel yelled high-fiving Tina.

"Score!" Tina cried dancing around.


	10. I Never Did Like Calamari

Author's note: I know I know I haven't updated since, since whenever, but thanks to a friendly messenger and the buggingness of Grace and Tina it's updated. So comment and you shall receive!

Disclaimer: I admit it, I stole the characters for Lord Of The Rings!

All games and fun stopped soon though, Gandalf had opened the door. Slowly they all piled in. Aragorn pulled Rachel back with him, "Stay close to me."

All Rachel could manage was a 'Yes sir.' Aragorn smiled slightly at her nervousness. She shuddered as darkness enclosed around them. It was a little too silent for her. "I got you." Aragorn whispered to her placing a hand on her shoulder as they walked.

"It's too silent for me." She whispered back to him, "I'm used to loud obnoxious idiots running around me."

"Shut up Woman!" Tina yelled.

Aragorn smiled, "Is that better?"

"Yes, yes it is."

Gandalf lit up his staff bringing a bright light to everything. Rachel relaxed slightly; Aragorn's hand remained on her shoulder though. Legolas smirked; it seemed to him that Aragorn had his hand on her for his own personal means of reassurance. "Holy Shit! It's a skeleton!" Tina cried, only Grace and Rachel caught her happy tone.

Legolas pulled out an arrow, "Orcs!"

Aragorn pulled out his sword and pushed Rachel behind him along with Frodo. "We make for the gape of Rohan!" Rachel barely heard Boromir say over Gimili's cries.

Suddenly Frodo was grabbed by the giant Octopus; Rachel screamed rushing after him with the hobbits (including Tina) and Grace. They tried to cut Frodo free but to no avail. "What should we do?" Sam asked.

"Sam get Aragorn!" Rachel yelled running to the tentacle. She muttered the words 'this is going to taste nasty' before biting into it hard. It dropped Frodo. The girls calmed a bit seeing how Frodo was alright. But that change when both Frodo and Rachel got pulled back the octopus.

"Rachel, this is not the time to be horsing around!" Tina yelled.

"I don't think she's horsing around Tina." Grace whispered as everyone ran out to help them.

"This didn't happen in the book." Tina replied picking up a pebble and throwing it at the octopus.

"Tina, **WE** aren't in the book."

Tina blinked, "And your point is?"

"Ugh just forget it!" Grace cried hitting her head.

Tina looked back at the others, "That looks like fun I'm going to go join them."

Grace grabbed her quickly, "You can't go join them you'll be eaten!"

"But Rachel is ." Tina replied.

Grace sucked in her cheeks and pointed at Rachel who just dangling there, "She's unconscious Tina, in mortal danger."

Tina blinked, "So?"

Within seconds the fellowship got Frodo and Rachel free. Boromir caught Frodo like in the book and Aragorn caught Rachel. "Get into the mines!" Aragorn yelled as he carried Rachel.

Grace grabbed Tina's arm and ran. They made it in safely with the rest of them. Together they all watched the cave collapse on Mr. Octopus. Gandalf mumbled something about there being no other choice but to go through Moria. He lit up his staff once more bringing light to everything. Frodo wheezed heavily looking around to see if Rachel was alright. He spotted her still unconscious in Aragorn's arms. Aragorn had a tight protective grip on her and look to match it. Frodo had a feeling that if orcs were to come at this time, Aragorn would slice them in two, without even drawing a breath. "Wake up idiot!" Tina cried flicking Rachel on the cheek.

"Tina, leave her alone." Grace ordered.

Aragorn sighed standing up, "Legolas help me get her on my back."

Legolas strode over to them. Aragorn gently placed Rachel on the ground. He gave Tina a look, "Don't even think about kicking her."

Tina glared, "Nnnn."

Grace hit her head once again, "Okay crazy lady let's let them be."

She pulled Tina away from them and towards Merry who would be more than glad to distract Tina. Carefully Legolas scooped Rachel up and placed her on Aragorn's back. Aragorn shifted slightly uncomfortable with having her so close. Legolas smirked, "Are you sure you're not attracted to her, my friend?"

Aragorn glared, "I am positive."

Legolas sighed, "Then why did look like you were about to kill anything that moved, a few seconds ago?"

Aragorn gave him questioning look. "Aragorn, we've been friend for a long time now. We have fought battles together and I have never seen you look so-angry and violent like….I don't want to say this lightly but you looked like an orc."

"An orc?" Aragorn asked raising an eyebrow.

"That's not nice Legolas, just because Aragorn isn't a stuck up bitchy elf like you doesn't mean you can call him ugly." Tina piped in.

"Shut up Tina!" Grace snapped.

Legolas sighed and looked at his friend, "you looked as if you were about to kill anything no matter who or what it was. As long as it got near her, you would slay it…just like an orc."

"Adrenaline." Aragorn replied.

"Denial!" Tina sang.

Aragorn glared at her, but returned to his conversation with Legolas, "Do not worry about my love life my friend. Worry about your own."

Legolas smiled, "I do, but unlike you I admit my feelings to at least myself."


	11. High School Loving

When Rachel opened her eyes she opened to darkness. The only source of light there was Gandalf's staff, but even that was just like a nightlight. She began breathing hard as she looked around her. There was nothing but darkness and silence. "It's alright lassie, there nothing to fear." Gimili's gruff voice assured.

Rachel looked up at him, "Yeah, except the unknown."

Gimili chuckled, "You bit into a giant octopus and you're scared off the dark?"

She pouted, "What's wrong with that? Besides what else was I suppose to do I didn't have a sword on me?"

"Nothing Lass, I'm just saying you shouldn't worry too much about it-it looks like you can handle your own. Besides Laddie over does look like he going to let anyone cause you any harm anytime soon." Gimili said pointing to the sleeping Aragorn who lay not too far from her.

Rachel smiled but shook her head, "He already has someone."

"Ah, but I heard she left to go be her people."

The smile got smaller on her face, "She'll be back unless she's an idiot. Besides the idea of him and me is just a shadow of an image never to be."

"Geez and I thought you were an awful poet." Tina's drowsy voice was heard.

Rachel gave off a weary chuckle, "Shut up Tina, you're being annoying."

"Nnnn."

"Whatever. I'm going back to sleep."

"Geez woman how much sleep do you need?" Tina whined.

"Shut up Tina, Mello looks like a girl." (yes, a Death Note mention)

"He does not!" Tina cried throwing her arms in the air. Rachel grinned before curling up into a ball and falling asleep.

When Gracelyn Panda bear the third woke up she was surprised to find everyone gathered around a fire talking about home. "So…Rachel….tell….me…about this….school thing." Merry said eating an apple.

"Well there are about three thousand students there?" Rachel asked checking with Tina to make sure.

Tina nodded, "About three thousand give or take a few."

"That's with East campus added in right?"

"Hell yeah, West does not hold three thousand warriors-it's small." Tina said giving Rachel a look saying she was stupid.

"Th-three thousand warriors!" Boromir cried.

"Quiet you fool! Do you want every orc in Moria to here you?" Gandalf whispered harshly.

"But they say they have three-thousand warriors-"

"So? It's a pretty small high school. I think with the Lincoln warriors and the other middle school put together with the high school we'd have more." Tina pondered.

"That is amazing! You're country is practically an empire!" Boromir exclaimed.

"That's what everyone tells us." Tina said grimly.

"I have an idea it may be a crazy one but it just might work." Boromir said suddenly, "As soon as we are out of Moria we shall send one of them to recruit an army from their country then they shall come and together Gondor and they shall crush Sauron."

Everyone looked at him as if he was crazy. "How 'bout not?" Tina said bluntly.

Boromir glared at her, "I wouldn't send you anyway you are useless when it comes to fighting-the same with Grace. No I would send Rachel to do it."

"What?" Rachel choked.

Aragorn's eyes shot straight towards Boromir, "She's not going anywhere."

Boromir glared at him, "Who are you to command what she does?"

"I won't let you send her to her death." Aragorn replied calmly though the anger in his eyes remained.

"Let's ask her-"

"You won't get anywhere with me or anyone else, we in truth have no idea how to get home." Rachel replied not even looking up.

Boromir's eyes widened, "Impossible!"

"Quiet you fool!" Gandalf snapped, "No be silent and talk no more of this, Boromir no matter how much you wish it we are not sending the girls away."

Boromir looked down and muttered something incoherently. Rachel's shoulder tensed up at little. She was slightly nervous due to this sudden mood swing from Boromir. "I sure could use a hamburger?" she muttered.

"Hamburger?" Pippin asked curiously.

"Yeah a Hamburger-oh yeah you guys don't have hamburgers do you?" Pippin begun to answer but Rachel cut him off, "A hamburger is just basically ground beef on a bun-bread with lettuce, tomatoes, onion, pickles, mayonnaise and ketchup."

Pippin stared at her blankly before nodding. Merry stood beside him starring at Tina. Tina felt his eyes bore into her back but paid no real attention because she was too busy thinking about German class and how she wished she was in it. "Tina!" Grace whispered.

"Vas?" Tina said turning around.

Grace tilted her head toward Merry trying to indicate to her that she should talk to him. "What?" Tina asked blinking.

Grace groaned and hit her head. "She'll figure it out eventually." Grace heard Legolas say, "Even the dullest of creatures are soon to realize love."

"Your ugly and your mother dresses you funny!" Tina shouted from up front.

"Shut up Tina!" Grace cried embarrassed.

Legolas laughed then pointed back at Aragorn and Rachel who were too wrapped up in talking to notice anything, "I have I feeling they'll realize their love soon."

Grace nodded. She fell silent not knowing what to say. "It seems as though everyone has a love they do not want to admit." Legolas said trying to sound wise, "I to have a love but unlike the other I admit it to at least myself."

"Who is she?" Grace asked trying not to tear.

Legolas grinned, "You really don't know do you?"

"No."

"Well I guess I should tell seeing how Rachel has given me her blessings. Grace as an elf you know how hard it is not admitting love immediately, well for the past few weeks I've been struggling to keep my affections at a slow pace with you-"

"What Legolas is trying to say is that he loves you and you should go out with him because he's fricken' awesome." Tina interrupted.

"Tina!" Grace cried, Legolas turned a bright red.

Rachel skipped past the two lovebirds and hit Tina causing a slap war. Both Legolas and Grace rolled their eyes. "Was what Tina said true?" Grace asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Completely."

"Well in that case I love you to-very much and I'll be happy to go out with you."

Legolas smiled but quickly frowned, "Now when you say 'go out' do you mean you're willing to be courted by me?"

"Yeah…that's it I guess."

"Then I'll be more than happy to go out with you now that I'm one of your suitors."

"Gracie's not a whore Legolas, she doesn't have multiple boyfriends-"Tina interrupted.

"What about S. ?" Rachel whispered. S.M.B's being their code word for sexy man beast, which was a club they made for any fictional character they loved.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that-hey Legolas I guess you do have-"

"Shut up the both of you!" Grace cried throwing her arms up in anger.

Legolas laughed starring at her no longer hiding the happiness or love from his eyes. Rachel and Tina and began to chat about various things. After a while Tina skipped up to Legolas and poked him in the belly. "One…Two-"

"Tina!" Grace snapped slapping her hands.

"Oh I get, you want to rape your own boyfriend." Tina whispered.

"Shut up!" Grace hissed.


	12. Does She Purr?

Author's note: Short chapter, but I figured it was better than nothing. Sorry about the wait, had a terrible writer's block, Any who review!

It was dark in Moria even during the day, but at night it was even darker-which was no real surprise to anyone-but Rachel who was already too scared of the dark."If you sleep any closer, you're going to catch on fire." Aragorn mentioned standing over Rachel.

"So? It's safer by the fire." Rachel said scooting another inch.

Aragorn smiled at her, "You're so close an orc will just push you in."

"I'm not scared of orcs; it's the darkness I'm scared of."

"Many men are, Rachel."

"Yeah, well look who's talking, you're Aragorn."

"What does that have to do with you sleeping close to the fire?"

"Everything."

He sighed, "I promised you already that I would let no harm come to you."

"I know but you also have the weight of Frodo's safety, middle Earth, and your own safety on your shoulders."

"I worry not about my safety my lady, whether I live or die does not matter as long as my comrades live."

"Well that may be fine and dandy for you but some people don't want to have their hands stained with guilt because you died protecting them."

"My lady you have no sword you are defenseless. "

"Am not. Okay so maybe I am-but that's beside the point."

"And what point would that be?"

"It would be-look it's not the point that really matters it the-well you see…um-did you know if you say the words glue stick , celery, or sword, around Tina, you'll become the laughing stock of the nation?"

"You have no clue what the point is do you?"

"Truthfully, no idea ask me next semester after Rhetoric and Research."

He cocked an eyebrow, "I'm not even going to ask."

"Yeah wouldn't recommend that."

"However I do think that you should move away from the fire."

"Yeah Rachel or you'll get burned like Takada!" Tina piped in.

"Shut up you morphine addict, your great great grandfather died from seduction and apple pie!" (Death note reference and inside joke)

"Shut up-"

"Merry will you please get her to quiet down."

Merry grinned, "On it."

"Me too." said Pippin.

"Now that that is settled, if you don't feel safe Milady then you are more than welcome to sleep near me-"

"Whore!" Tina shouted.

"Tina, do you remember what Adam said?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah but what does that have to do with anything-oh I get it….I'm just going to go bother Gracie now." Tina said remembering how Adam was her "Pimp".

"What was that about?" Aragorn asked not taking his eyes away from Rachel.

"Let's just say someone has an extreme addiction to morphine filled starburst."

"If I were you I'd just let it be Laddie these women have ways of twisting things round and round until up is right and right is a hobbit." Gimili suggested.

"Though I don't quite understand what Gimili is saying, I agree completely with him about not asking us." Rachel said smiling.

"That's only makes me want to know more," Aragorn sighed.

"Really?" she said slightly purring.

Aragorn opened his mouth about to say something but Gandalf got to it first, "We must rest now, and we have a long journey ahead."

Rachel smiled and curled up back into her spot. She was half asleep when she felt someone pick her up. She groaned and opened her eyes slightly to see Aragorn looking down at her. "Shhhh…..go back to sleep. I'm just making sure you don't catch on fire." Aragorn whispered to me.

"I'm not a child."

"I can tell, trust me."

"OOOOOOoooooh what does that mean?"

"Shut up Tina and go to sleep." Rachel mumbled curling up into ball once more. Despite Tina's constant screams of 'Whore' (which ended soon thanks to Aragorn telling her to be quiet) she fell asleep on Aragorn's lap.

"She's like a fricken' cat-I bet she even purrs." Tina stated looking down at the sleeping Rachel who was hugged close to Aragorn's chest.

"Shhh. Let her sleep." Aragorn commanded.

"Why do you care?"

"Easy because he has feelings for her." Legolas interrupted smiling.

Aragorn glared. "Ooooo….since when and how long have you felt this way for our friend?" Tina said grabbing a notepad and pen out of nowhere.

Everyone looked at her. "Where did you get a notepad?" Grace asked looking as equally shocked as the others.

Tina shrugged, "I don't know. I guess it just randomly appeared like people in Rachel's stories."

"Like Elrond!" the girls cried in unison.

"What are they talking about?" Legolas asked.

Aragorn shrugged. "I think the real question is, do we really want to know?" Gimili replied and it was decided that no one wanted know.

"Ah! I remember now!" Gandalf cried into the darkness. He had finally figured out where they were going thanks to the freshness of the air.

"I guess this means we should get moving." Tina replied she looked down at the sleeping Rachel, "We can just leave her, she'll be fine."

Aragorn didn't bother to even look up, he just handed his stuff to Legolas and picked her up. "Darn it." Tina muttered


	13. Finally

Author's note:

Here' s the new chapter enjoy, the next one won't be out for a long time. Estimation date is some time after spring break (after my friends and I attempt our Lord of the Rings marathon), but can take longer. However if you review I might be able to get some earlier inspiration..hint hint.

"I'm tired." Rachel yawned.

"Says the girl who got to sleep while we walked." Tina muttered.

"Hey you guys could've waked me up anytime you wanted too."

"Um…no we couldn't we weren't allowed to be within ten miles of you." Tina said.

"I was she wasn't." Grace replied.

"Of course."

"Hey I wasn't the one who was sleeping on Aragorn like a fricken cat." Tina said.

"Tina you'd be one violent cat."

"yup!

Merry sighed, "It is."

"An-Dreeewww!" "An-Dreeewwwww!" "An-Dreewwww!"

Boromir cocked an eyebrow, "what are they doing?"

"Don't ask." Rachel muttered walking faster. She practically ran up to Frodo.

"Hi!" she said breathing hard.

Frodo just looked at her than smiled and laughed, "You okay? You look like you're going to kill over any minute?"

"I'm fine. Running has never been my thing though; thank God I'm not doing Guardian training with Dimitri." Rachel replied catching her breath.

Frodo furrowed his burrows, "Who?"

"Oh, sorry just talking to myself." Rachel said catching her error.

"She does that often, she also tends to talk to dogs in a really high pitchy voice." Tina blurted out from in back.

"Shut up Tina! You talk to random objects." Rachel snapped.

"I do not-oh my god it's shiny!" Tina yelled pointing at something totally random.

"I rest my case."

"You can't rest your case Rachel; you're a cat not a lawyer."

"A cat?" Sam asked thinking the girls to be silly.

"Yeah! She slept on Aragorn like a cat." Grace laughed.

Rachel blushed and told them to shut up. "Hey Aragorn! Does she purr?" Grace asked.

Aragorn chose to ignore them causing Grace to go 'Hey Aragorn' about twenty times. "Gracie my grasshopper I think you're being ignored." Tina said.

"I do too." Grace replied and they skipped up to Aragorn arm in arm.

Rachel sighed feeling sorry for him. "Aragorn just say no and they'll be satisfied for whatever amount of time it takes them to find something else to pester about." Rachel said giving him consent to answer.

He sighed but did as told earning an 'awww' then silence. "I swear there is no one on Middle Earth who is more annoying than you two." Boromir muttered.

"Yeah well you be a ho." Tina said, "And not a good one either. In fact if you worked for Zack or Adam, they'd kill you."

Everyone looked at her questioningly. "Tina no one says ho or dude in Middle Earth." Rachel coughed.

"Well, you know what? You all suck." Tina swore.

"Tina shut up, your lowering your class level." Rachel murmured.

"Whaaaaaaaa?"

"IF you keep swearing like that, they'll see you as a whore." Rachel coughed on whore, she quickly looked at Grace, "And you don't encourage her."

"You're no fun." Grace said. Rachel just rolled her eyes and walked back up towards Aragorn-who smiled at her presence.

"Geez what a-B." Tina said unable to muster up anything real insulting.

Grace sighed, "I know she never let us have any fun and her stories take forever to come out."

"Right if this was a story we'd probably be waiting for months just for one stupid scene."

"Guys have you even notice that we're in BAlin's tomb?" Rachel asked in a whisper.

"What-oh yeah I remember this part-" Rachel quickly covered Tina's mouth.

"Shut up." She hissed and let go of Tina.

"Stupid woman." Tina grumbled.

Suddenly there was a thud as the head off the dead corpse fell off into the well just as planned. It went silent. Gandalf opened his mouth to scold Pippin only to be cut off by an unusual sound of 'Nrroooooooooommmmm' over and over again. "Orcs!" Gimili cried.

Everyone pulled out their weapons ready for a fight. Rachel looked at them like they were nuts and said , "Shut up you two you're causing a pandemic here."

Everyone turned their attention from the door to Tina and Grace. Who looked angrily at Rachel. "Well this sucked." Tina said.

"Agreed it sounds like some of Rachel's sucky writing." Grace agreed.

"Shut up, it does not!" Rachel hissed.

"All three of you be quiet I have half the mind to-"Gandalf froze, "please tell me you ladies are making that drumming sound."

"Nope." They said in unison.

"Orcs!" Boromir cried. He, Legolas, and Aragorn rushed up to the door trying to block it. Arrows flew and Boromir muttered something about there being a cave troll. After blocking the door they ran back and took position.

"Ladies stay close to me." Gandalf ordered preparing for battle. They all nodded and stood behind Gandalf with the hobbits. Each had their fist up as if expecting to take the orc head on. This was just plain stupid however when you're scared you'll do nearly anything.

Suddenly the orcs broke in and arrows were fired. Everyone rushed out to attack leaving the girls alone and defenseless. "Where the hell are you going?" Tina cried but not in a scared tone.

"They're fighting Tina." Grace whispered as if her tone would hide them from everything.

"So? "

"Hey why are you guys whispering?" Rachel asked finding it odd how no orcs came to attack them.

"I don't know." Tina said dreamily.

Just then their luck ran out because standing before them was an ugly orc. Tina and Grace grabbed on to Rachel's arms. "What are you doing?" Rachel cried.

"You're the apprentice here do something?" Grace cried.

"You are too; I don't have a sword anyway!"

"I don't have a bow!"

"Shit we're screwed." Tina stated.

The orc launched itself at them ready to kill them when an arrow went through its head. The girls' eyes went wide. There stood their savior Legolas! "Stay behind me Ladies." He ordered pulling out another arrow.

They nodded and did as told. Rachel grabbed the sword of the slain orc, feeling prepared to fight despite Aragorn's warning of how a sword of an enemy would do her no good. She slashed through her first opponent and made her way quickly to the next. Tina began to throw stones at anything that moved (she hit Gimili a few times). Grace joined in after a while actually paying attention to who she was hitting. The battle raged on for a few more minutes until reaching its climax of everyone thinking Frodo was dead. Rachel ran with everyone else in the fury of killing the cave troll. Tina and Grace in the in the meantime ran to help an unconscious Frodo. "Come on wake up buddy, we know you're still alive." Tina said hitting his cheek gently.

Frodo didn't budge. Aragorn ran over looking upon Frodo with remorse and sadness. Suddenly Frodo gasped causing the girls to smile and everyone to come in close to listen to Frodo's explanation on how he was still alive. "I knew he wasn't dead." Tina boasted smirking.

Grace and Rachel rolled their eyes. "Of course you knew he wasn't dead you read the books and saw the movies." Grace cried giving her a playful slap on the arm.

"Hey, from what I've been saying the book left out a lot of stuff." Tina replied rubbing her arm.

"Like what?"

"Us."

"Tina, we're not in the book."

"Exactly."

"We're not supposed to be in the book in the first place."

Tina frowned and made a face, "Says who?"

"Your mother." Rachel intervened smiling.

"Shudda up"

"You-"Rachel was interrupted with Aragorn grabbing her arm. Legolas rushed grabbing Grace's arm. Meanwhile Merry and Pippin took care of hurrying Tina. They ran the fifty mile yard line dash through Moria before stopping. The fellowship plus the girls found themselves surrounded by ugly orcs.

"Shit we're screwed." Tina whispered to no one.

"Yeah I know." Merry whispered back, "They're going to kill us and take the ring."

"Well that's cheerful." Grace muttered butting in.

"Really I'd never think death would be a cheerful thing, I always thought it be something dark and despairing." Tina replied.

Grace rolled her eyes, "IF this was going to be our last moments together I'd slap you."

Tina smiled, "No you wouldn't."

"I'd get Boromir to do it."

"No you wouldn't."

"I hate you."

"No you don't." both Rachel and Tina said at the same time. Grace just stomped her foot and turned away. All three girls knew they weren't going to die, but they had to appear to be worried about the current situation-which wasn't going too well. Luckily for them everyone else was also busy with the current situation they were in. Suddenly there was a big roar and all the little orcs scattered like bugs.

"Well someone's grumpy." Tina whispered.

"I don't think that's the problem Tina." Grace whispered back.

"No, it's Balrog." Rachel said at the same time as Gandalf.

"Run!" Gandalf yelled, "Run you fools!"

And like that everyone was running again. They stopped upon getting to the part of the bridge where it was broken. Legolas jumped gracefully across. He reached out as if ready to catch someone. Grace sighed dreamily and the next she knew she was in her sexy elf boy's arm. "I got you." Legolas said putting her down gently.

Next came Gimili who refused to be tossed. However he soon learned it was better to be tossed then to keep pride when Legolas had to pull him by his beard to safety. Next went Gandalf then hobbits that were thrown by Boromir. Included with the hobbits was Tina who wanted so desperately to say 'weeeeee!' "It's your turn my lady." Boromir said reaching for Rachel.

She smiled and nodded. She spurned away Boromir hand and said "Wish me luck" before jumping into Legolas's arms. Boromir and Aragorn sighed in relief. Frodo smiled, finding Rachel's daringness to be the only bright light in Moria at the moment. "I swear women in her country are crazy." Boromir muttered before jumping.

Rachel and the girls turned their attention to one another not really interested in watching Aragorn and Frodo come across. They had seen it plenty of times already on t.v. "You think we're going to die?" Grace whispered seriously.

The girls looked at each other, "Nah."

"Move it you fools!" Gandalf yelled catching their attention.

"Okay, Okay no need to be so grumpy." Tina said moving it along.

They began to run as fast as they could. Rachel felt as if she were about to die. She couldn't run for five minutes in gym so what made anyone think she could run now? Grace was just fine on the other hand. Her elvish body gave her a better pair of lungs than her old human body did. Besides what better motivation for her to run other than watching sexy elf boy's hair flow as he ran? Tina however was also having difficulties. She was short so there was no way she'd could run that fast. Luckily for her there were four other hobbits and Gimili there to help slow down the pack. The girls stopped halfway across the bridge as Frodo yelled, "Gandalf!"

They watched in horror as the scene played like in the movie. Even though they had seen it many times before it never had hit them as hard as it did now. Gandalf was gone. "Oh He'll be back." Tina assured her friends.

They nodded and followed the others outside where they wept.


	14. IMPORTANT NOTE!

**Important Author's Note!**

To all my dear readers,

This is not an update or a note of cancelation rather than a chance. A chance to get your favorite story-written by me, not only updated but given a lemony one-shot. And all you have to do is go to my poll and vote for your favorite character. So what's in it for me? Five bucks. I have a bet with a couple of friends about who will get the most votes. =) Anyway please vote.

Sayonara,

Dean's Dirty Little Secret

P.S: You have a week


	15. An incredibly short chapter sorry

Author's note: I know this isn't long but it's all I got. With everyone now in college It's hard to was a lotr marathon with craziness ensuing. Please forgive me and please leave angry reviews to help convince my dear hobbit friend 'Tina' to return home to me, so I can write more.

Grieving wasn't hard to fake, because the girls weren't faking it. Even though they knew Gandalf was not dead and would be back brand spanking new, they were caught up in the moment. Especially Tina, it seems hobbits were more sensitive than other creatures. "Wow, Tina you're really doing the water works here." Grace whispered.

"Shut up." Tina sobbed, "I miss Gandalf."

"He's been gone for twenty minutes." Rachel whispered lowly.

"So? I miss Mountain!" Tina wailed, calling him by his nickname.

Aragorn turned around at this. He seemed to stare at her directly yet he wasn't. He was contemplating his next move. Now that Gandalf was in gone, he was left in charge. It was his duty to get Frodo to Mountain Doom and to protect the fellowship. For a second he glanced over at Rachel, who stood tall and proud amongst the chaos. How she managed to be so strong, shocked him? But the more he stared at her the more he noticed something was off. Her hand was on her stomach and her body posture was slightly bent. Something was not right. "Quit staring at me you jerk! Mountain just died and you're already trying to put the moves on me!" Tina cried.

"He's not staring at you." "I'm not staring at you." Both Rachel and Aragorn said at the same time. Tina just sniffled looking away. Aragorn sighed knowing what he had to do. He wouldn't like it though. "Legolas get them up."

"Oh let them have a minute for pity sake." Boromir cried.

"By night fall these hills will be swarming with orcs. We must reach the woods of Lothlorien." Aragorn said.

Boromir just looked down in silent argument. "Come on Boromir, Legolas!" Aragorn yelled, "Gimili get them up."

Legolas helped Sam up before walking over to the girls. They sat calmly as if expecting all these events. "Tina, Grace, Rachel, we must be leaving." He said softly.

Tina looked at him silent for a moment. Suddenly she burst out into tears sobbing, "Boo, you whore!"

Legolas raised an eyebrow. Grace wrapped her arms around Tina. "She's very emotional, right now." She explained before leading Tina away.

Rachel smiled before leaving too. However unlike the other two she didn't not walk so much as dragged over and not in a straight line. Legolas eyes widened at a flash of red from her side followed by a sudden wobble of the knees threatening to take her down. He ran over to her to just as she was about to fall. Her body collapsing in his arms. In an instant everyone was surrounding her, including a crying Frodo who only moments ago had started off on his own. "Move it! Move it! I have to see if she's okay," Tina demanded pushing herself through.

Boromir worked quickly to try and uncover her wound while keeping her modesty. Something that wasn't working out well with the dried blood sticking to the cloth of her strange garment. "Screw modesty, just rip that shit off!" Tina ordered ripping a straight line into the shirt.

The men were acting as if ripping it would show her breast or something else other than her stomach. "Oh shit, this isn't good is it?! She's going to die isn't she?! She's going to die?! Don't die Rachel! Who the hell am I going to make fun of if you die?! Grace is terrible at being made fun of!" Tina flipped out.

"The wound doesn't look that deep ," Legolas stated his fingers trailing the part of her skin that had turned a strange blueish color, "This isn't natural though…it looks like whatever got her was poisoness."

"Of course it was. Now for the real question what do we do about?" Boromir snorted.

"The only thing we can do. Take her to Lothlorien," Aragorn answered scooping her up in his arms, "We must leave now. We have even less time than we did before."

Without a second thought Aragorn began to run. His arms tight around the small woman in them. Even while running Aragorn could feel her pulse diminishing and it scared him to death. He had swore to protect her, to make sure no harm would come to her. And now she was dying in his arms. "Come on Rachel, just stay with us a little longer. Please stay strong we're almost there." Aragorn whispered as he ran.


End file.
